My name... is Cell
by T.B. Stormshot
Summary: Cell is feared throughout the world... but what does he think of himself? Cell POV


My Name... is Cell  
By:Windsifter  
  
I do not own the rights to the show known as Dragonball Z, nor will I ever.  
  
Cell. The name strikes fear into the hearts of civilians all around the globe, of which Cell has promised to kill with a more than ready hand, and a vicious smile. But in truth, what does Cell really think of this manner, and what does he think of himself?  
  
  
  
It's a craving you know.  
  
A craving I can't stop or control, one that has been programmed into me from before I was concieved and probably until I die, if I die. I might just live forever slowly going insane from it.  
  
Even now I feel it, the craving for power, sheer and subtle. Primitive, yet, very, very effective. Gero's stroke of genius. The thing that drives me to do what I do, to absorb the living into myself, extracting their power and making it my own.  
  
It still scares me, even after all these years of living with it. It makes me feel helpless, I, the most powerful being to ever live. Even I can't control it, can't control my actions. Even now, whenever I see a living being, I feel the life, the power, running through its veins, and a sweat will break across my face, I'll lick my lips and I'll hardly be able to stop myself from attacking and trying to absorb it immediately.  
  
It's worse though, when I feel the need to toy with my prey, it's hard not to feel sick when I feel the sudden joy of the chase and the twisted elation of hurting another. It's hard not to feel the urge to throw up as I feel and hear myself chuckle and laugh as my prey screams in horror and disgust at the monstrosity that is me.  
  
It's an addiction, a powerful addiction that uses me like a slave, doing it's bidding. And I have no choice but to follow along. I'm like the unlucky bastard who had some dope slipped into their Coke. I didn't have any choice in the matter. Nor will I ever.  
  
I had hoped it would go away, once I had absorbed the androids, once I had become perfect. And for just a moment, a brief moment, when I had absorbed android 18, there had been a period of time in which the addiction had been apeased, and I could think clearly for once. I thought I had truly done it, that I had broken free of the addiction. But as I laughed in elation, I could feel the addiction, like a creeping ooze well up inside of me again, and oncemore take over my mind and body.  
  
I wanted to cry then, but all I could do was test the speed and power of my new body, to please this darkness inside of me that demanded such things.  
  
I wonder how he could have done this to me, given me this almost indiscribable craving for power and blood. This thing, that is slowly picking me apart and breaking me. This thing, that is slowly but surely driving me insane. This thing, that will oneday, if I live, leave me a dried up husk, incapable of even thinking for itself.  
  
I wonder how he could have done this to me, but I suppose he wasn't thinking of me as a person when he designed and created my DNA from bits and pieces of the strongest fighters in the universe. Nor how I would feel when he designed the instinctive craving that he implanted in my mind.  
  
No, he was thinking of me as a tool, an instrument to do his bidding. The object that would gain him revenge upon Goku and the rest of the world. His 'masterpiece'.  
  
Dr. Gero called it a stroke of genius, giving me this overriding addiction, and perhaps it was, for it serves its purpose well, it has kept me loyal to his commands long since the time when I would have turned away, for no being I'd like to believe, is born... or created evil.  
  
Even as I stand, alone, upon this platform where once stood a house with a happy family of four, all of which were killed with a blast I concieved, I obey his commands. He, with this craving, controls me from beyond the grave. And I cannot stop him.  
  
My name... is Cell.   
  
This name... Dr. Gero placed it upon me, a rememberance of what I started as, a single cell, tiny and fragile.  
  
But I can't help but wonder, if my name, perhaps, does not have a second meaning. One placed unbeknowst upon me. For even if not, surely it is an irony at the least, because surely I am trapped beyond all hope, unable to see any light from where I stand. It is sure that I will not escape, for I cannot outrun what hounds me everyday of my tortured life, and even if I were to, I would have nowhere to run.  
  
Yes, this must be true, for it plays part in all my thoughts, my dreams, and my nightmares. Yes, this surely must be, for there is no other way to describe it. I can clearly see what has been done to me now. Dr. Gero is like my jailor, and this addiction, like a cell... and surely I live in one.   
  
Clearly there is no way to escape from this disgusting plague placed upon me from before birth, no way except for death itself. And if that is so, then I surely hope that Goku kills me the day of the tournament, for I cannot kill myself.  
  
If anyone wants to chat: Shiftywind1984@msn.com  



End file.
